I’m terribly ashamed to admit that I have watched this show on more than one occasion. Why? I have no idea. Probably because both my mother and sister watch it, and I tend to have nothing interesting to do when it’s on. Please note, I realize this isn’t a good reason to watch this show (I’m not sure those exist), but it is a reason.

Also, I hate this show.

For those of you unfamiliar with Say Yes to the Dress, it’s a reality TV show (problem number one) on TLC in which young and beautiful brides-to-be enter a bridal store looking for the perfect wedding gown. There’s always a lot of drama about picking the right dress, does the bride’s family approve, will it fit into the bride’s budget (which is always exorbitant to start with), and blah blah blah.

Doesn’t TLC stand for The Learning Channel? Did they change their acronym to something else when I wasn’t paying attention? My main problem with Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta is that it airs on TLC, and not say, oh I don’t know, Bravo or E! Is TLC really in such desperate need of mindless programming? Apparently they are. It’s also my understanding that Say Yes to the Dress Atlanta is a spinoff. Really? I just can’t. I’ve never seen the original Say Yes to the Dress, but I assume it’s more of the same.

My second beef with Say Yes to the Dress is the money involved. I’ve yet to watch an episode where a dress has cost less than a thousand dollars, and most dresses featured on the show cost thousands (yes, plural) of dollars. I watched one episode where the bride convinced her fiance to purchase a dress that was about the cost of a luxury automobile. I wanted to cry, and not because I was so happy for the bride. I wanted to cry, because this is so out of touch with how most of our country lives. We’re talking strictly one percent people here, folks. As a member of the 99%, I feel it is my duty to protest against shows where so much money is spent on something that will only be worn once. Maybe I could write to some avid Occupy Wall Streeters and get them to occupy a taping of Say Yes to the Dress. That would be sweet.

Maybe I watch this show because of the hilarious Southern accents. I used to have a thick Southern accent myself, and maybe I’m just proud of the fact I haven’t talked that way since I was six years old. Y’all feel me? Maybe I watch this show for obscure subconscious reasons I will never fully understand. What I do know is that I hate this show, but I’m drawn to it like a bug to one of those bug zapper thingies. That’s probably enough for now.